For as long as I can remember–and probably ten years longer–I have, yes, I admit it, allowed myself to get a little bothered when I hear people say “try and do better” instead of “try to do better.” I’m really not a noun Nazi, I promise! It’s just that that one is one of the few occasions when it’s not about knowing the rule. It just makes sense one way and none at all any other ways, and you don’t have to be smart to know that because it follows the standard English pattern of forming the infinitive of a verb by sticking ‘to’ in front of it. You don’t have to know what ‘infinitive’ means or even what a verb is to know that ‘to’ is the word “to use.”

That was a bit of a rantita. What I was really trying to get at is that it’s nice now to know what to call that silly substituion.

hendiadys
The substitution of conjunction for subordination in expressing a compound notion.

Okay, back to the ranting–or maybe it’s time for the raving, I’m never sure of the exact proportions…

The other thing like that–meaning simply illogical –that always gets me (this one more than the other, in fact) is the good ol’ classic “I could care less.” Ah, tried and true, it’s never out of fashion. Except that it’s not true at all. I estimate approximately 98.2% of the people whip out that phrase in contexts in which they mean to say the exact opposite thing. It’s just so obvious that it bears no more discussion.

Yet!

On the total other hand., There’s another common phrase that takes a liberty considered non-standard in this country, and it doesn’t take even a kindergartner’s education to spot it, but in this case I like it and will sooner look for another construction than correct the “mistake.” What is it?

It’s called ‘dystmesis’ (so, obviously it’s a form of tmesis, whatever the fuck in hell that is if not the third to last ingredient in my dandruff shampoo). See, what happens is, the compound is separated at an inappropriate or unlikely position. Seriously. It does. I’ve seen it happen. You have too. There are a lot of exclamation variants that probably qualify on the technicality–those that belong to the “un-freaking-believable” category–but the big teddy granddaddy of them all, the one whose smoothness I’ve been thinking of? Sure you’re ready? Ready-ready? K::=>>

a whole ‘nother story